Kaleidoscope
by Pocky Whore
Summary: It was not his fault he thirsted for blood more than any one other thing in the entirety of this world. I knew this because I thirsted in the same way. Edward/Bella, Vampire Fic.


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**Kaleidoscope.**

By Pocky Whore

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The sound of screaming was so much louder than any sound I could remember hearing in the enirety of my life. It was like a hallow wail of pure desperation that broke out from some unseen place. The sound sent shivers down my spinal chord, and radiated outward throughout my whole body. I was certain it was the same kind of scream projected from the throat of a dying animal. It was so raw it froze me in my tracks. Took away my free will. All I could do was listen to the screams and know there was nothing I could do. Nothing anyone could do, but the sound still cut through my heart like a dull knife against butter; effectively ripping it out of my chest.

I tried to remember how it had come to this. How fate had decided to deal this unlucky card upon the person who was surly belting out a scream of pure fear and pain.

But just as suddenly as the scream had ripped through their throat, it went silent. There was no need to wonder why. I knew. The screams had ceased to exist just as the screamers own life had ceased to exist. It was an unsettling thought, a terribly terribly depressing thought that brought a shiver of fear up my spine again. Even when the screaming stopped, I couldn't move. My feet felt like they were cemented down to the sidewalk; like I'd be left standing on this street corner for eternity. I could still faintly hear the echo of a scream long lost in the darkness. Some of the sound still bounced awkwardly against the alley walls from where it had come. It still tore through my eardrums.

The scream had been undoubtedly female.

I could tell not only by the pitch of the scream, but the pure forlorn desperation it had sounded with. Only a woman was capable of such power beneath her vocal chords. Only a woman could make that sound so bone chillingly desperate.

I tried to stop myself from the impending thoughts that I could have saved her life, because really, I could have. I could tell the Vampire lurking in the depths of the alleyway. He wasn't particularly strong, I could tell by his scent, but I would not interfere. It was not my place. As much as I hated the idea of this night walker sucking the bloody dry from that poor unknown woman, it wasn't my place to act. He chose to drink the warm blood of the living, I did not. My choice however, gave me no right to prevent his kill.

I had to stop myself again from wondering why his rights were so much more potent than her's had been.

She wouldn't even make the front page tomorrow. Or the next day, or whenever some half drunk bum discovered her lifeless corpse in the ally. Death was something not uncommon in these parts. The death of men, women, or children that once would have rocked the very core of society now where something too undoubtedly common that no one thought twice of it. Murder waited down even ally, Vampire's around every other corner.

Perhaps it is the dreck unsolicited lack of humanity in this town that drew Vampires here. They knew they could hunt their prey and no one would notice, or care about the death of some random women on the streets. The people here are immune. They feel nothing at the death of a comrade. They seem to have lost fear all together of death. Everyone. Everyone except that women now lying lifelessly on top of the garbage. She had feared for her own life, but it had not helped. Her screams had been absolutely human, absolutely vulnerable, but it would not help her now.

I walked away from the ally. My feet still felt heavy, but not as heavy as my heart would have felt if it were still beating. It was just a useless organ in my chest now. No rhythm, no life, no blood to pump from my empty veins.

I was the same as that monster in the ally, we simply made different choices, and I could not be predigest against that. It was not his fault he thirsted for blood more than any one other thing in the entirety of this world. I knew this because I thirsted in the same way. The burn in my throat, the yearning in my belly, had extinguished years ago. I had tasted the warm musky liquid only once from the veins of a live person, back when I had been just a new born. Perhaps the taste would have been more enjoyable had it not been someone I loved. Perhaps it would have tasted better had I not sucked my loved one dry before realizing my mistake.

The memories of my human life were blurry. I could remember them vaguely in my mind, but it was as if I was seeing them through some unseen filter. They were not clear, nor had they become more pronounced as I dwelt on them. I was half certain that one day I would forget I had ever been human at all. If that day ever came, I would truly become one of the undead, chained to this earth for the rest of time.

I walked away from they ally. I couldn't dwell on this any longer than I had. There was no hope for that woman anymore.

I'd barely taken more than a few steps before another much younger woman rounded the corner. The click of her stiletto pumps echoed much too loud in my ears. I hated the sound. It was the sound of her marching to her death. She knew not what waited for her. The Vampire in the small alcove between the buildings was still there. He was still hungry. He would snatch her right off of the pavement and devour every ounce of humanity she possessed.

As the girl, she barely counted as a women, brushed past me; she smiled. It was just a friendly gesture to an absolute stranger. She probably didn't even mean it, it was probably just something she did mindlessly to be polite, but it meant so much to me. I couldn't remember the last time someone had smiled at me, or even in my general direction.

I grabbed the girl by her tiny shoulders. She spun around, eyes wide, and looked at me. I smiled at her, possibly the first smile I'd allowed my muscles to contort since my decent into darkness.

"I wouldn't go that way," I smiled down at her, "I just saw a loose dog in the ally. You might get bitten."

She smiled back at me and nodded, taking off in a different direction.

It made me happy. She would live another night. Though I doubted it would be long before she too was found stiff and lifeless in some remote part of the city.

I played with a strand of my long brown hair, twisting it around my pointer finger, a habit I had retained from my time as a mortal. I watched the girl leave before I too left. My own heels sounded nothing like hers had.

I walked through the run down streets, past the shady underground bars, past the highly perfumed hookers leaning against the decay of some rotting building. This city was my home. I belonged here. I belonged in this miserable den of broken souls and misguided dreams. I didn't deserve to be happy. I deserved to rot away here, along with these tortured human souls and un-classy vampires. It was my punishment for my sin. This city mad me unbearably miserable, but my misery made me happy.

I walked into the front hallway of my apartment building. The paint was chipping, the wooden floors creaked even at my smallest movement. As I passed the doors belonging to the other tenets I could hear music bellowing from beneath the door on one. I could hear loud coughing as smoke poured from between the wooden frame of another.

I stopped in front of my door and threw it open. I didn't bother locking it. I had nothing of value, and it wasn't like a locked door was going to keep anyone out anyway.

I opened the fridge and took out a medium sized baggy of liquid and pored some into a glass. The red liquid settled in the glass and never once rippled. I took a long sip. It was cold, and bitter, and I hated the taste. The blood washed over the inside of my throat, effectively quenching the small burn that had been forming there from days of not feeding.

I drank blood only when necessary. Only when the fire in my throat reached a point of annoyance. I glanced into the still open fridge, I was running low on supplies. I would have to take another trip to the hospital sometime this week. Hospitals had a large supply of blood stocked up and stored in large freezers. No one noticed the few bags that went missing each month.

I took another, longer, drink and made a sound of disgust. It tasted disgusting when cold, but I was afraid I would enjoy it far too much it I warmed it up. It would taste too much like it had come from a person, a fact I tried not to think about while feeding. I was afraid it would remind me of _his_ blood. The way it had tasted when the warm musky liquid had slid down my throat. The way the scent clung in my mouth for hours after, and how every time I took in a breath, I could smell it all over again.

I didn't deserve to still be living, if that's what you called it, while he lay rotting under a grave stone. It should have been the other way around. I wish I had died that night like I was supposed to.

Nearly 20 years ago, while I slept cozy in my bed, while Charlie was out for the weekend fishing, I had received a late night visitor. He was, although I had not known it at the time, a vampire. I could still remember his voice as he woke me from my dream and thrust me into a nightmare.

"You smell delicious." He had muttered under his breath and his teeth bit down on the hollow of my neck.

It had been a random act of violence. No rhyme or reason for it. He had been near by, smelt me even from the confides of my house, and had struck with such vigor. I hadn't even seen his face in the darkness, just his pale eyes glistening with specks of fire beneath them. And then he had left, leaving me almost completely drained of blood, but still alive. Whether he had done it on purpose or as an accident, I still do not know. But I had lived, although I immediately wished I hadn't.

The pain burst from every inch of my body all at once. I screamed, I tried to gasp as much air into my failing lungs as I could, but my efforts were in vain. The pain did not cease an inch. The more I screamed, the more I pleaded for someone, anyone to kill me, the stronger the pain erupted from my throat. I laid withering and tormented for days, alone. Charlie had been fishing. He wouldn't be back until Monday. By then it was far too late for him to save me, as if he could have in the first place. Maybe he could have killed me, taken away the fire burning up my backside into my belly, taken away the fate I was sure to be embracing soon.

I don't know how many hours, how many days I lied there, I never stopped screaming. Then, as if someone had suddenly pulled the plug, it all stopped. The pain was gone, but only for a moment. Then it came back a million times greater than it had started out at. I could hear Charlie come home, I could hear his breath, his heart, his _blood._ I had struck him then, not a single thought had graced my mind as I drained him dry. I truly hadn't even realized what had happened until it was all over. Until the burning had stopped, as well as his protests.

I hated thinking about that day. It had been the day the entire coarse of my life had been thrown off balance. It had been the day I had committed the ultimate sin and forever joined the darkness.

I hate myself.

I took one last gulp of the foul beverage in my hand, wrinkling my nose at the taste, and threw the cup at the wall. It shattered into a thousand fragments of glass and dropped to the old wooden floor. The pieces were red.

I sat on the couch and watched as the sun began to make its appearance on the horizon. It was dull and shadowed by the heavy cloud cover, but the light reached me regardless. It shone through the window, illuminating the particles of dust swimming in the air. It was like a kaleidoscope. The dust danced in the air, clumping together, separating apart, forming different textures, different patters in the empty space. I watched the dust, hoping it would never settle. This simple dance of debree caused me more joy that it should have. I smiled gently and wove my hands in the air, causing the dust to swirl inwards before hovering and floating gently in the air again.

I could faintly hear screaming coming from the street right outside my window, but at the moment, I didn't care.

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**TBC**

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_**A/N:** _Hey everyone this is Pocky Whore. This is my first Twilight fan fic, so please be gentle? Haha I just finished Breaking Daw a couple days ago, and I was looking for some Twilight Fanfics to entertain me, when inspiration hit! Actually I didn't have much inspiration. I just started typing and this is what came out. I hope everyone liked it, I know I do, and I will continue to update as often as I can. This will be an **Edward/Bella **fanfiction. Incase anyone is confused, Bella and Edward have not met in my story ever. They don't know eachother...yet. haha. R&R?


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